I’m insufficient. I’m not enough. I can’t do this by myself. Why in the world did I ever choose to have a solo? I mean, come on I’ve only danced for two and a half years. Was that really a good decision?
Enough. I am not enough. I doubt myself, my skills; it’s all uncertain. When everything is stripped from me, I really can’t do anything, relying only on myself.
I practice and try, try; I feel as though I am working hard. But in my own power, is it doing anything, adding anything to my dancing? My dance, my solo wears me through.
It’s hard to breathe. I try to breathe, catch my breath. Today, I can’t seem to turn, be on time, or do my transitions correctly.
Out of breath, I am not enough.
But still knowing that I am insufficient, I know that the One who is sufficient lives within me. “Your grace is sufficient for me” (2 Corinthians 12:9). There is grace.
Grace. Grace. Grace. Sometimes you just have to say it. Though I, you are broken, not enough, He fills us. He is your enough. God is alive with you, even when you feel dead. You are alive. “Through the lens of insufficiency I can glimpse Grace, perfect, complete all sufficient Grace” (allison nicole / alltheblindingstars).
Maybe we long to be full, sufficient to fill others and ourselves. Lately I’ve learned how much I rely on human power, mine and other’s. I must rely on the all sufficient grace instead of the inadequacy and brokenness of people. You can’t rely on people for love or fulfillment. Everyone is broken, longing for love and grace. Empty can’t fill empty; human can’t fill human. The only One who can completely and beautifully fill you is Jesus. Enough fills lack; sufficient fills insufficient. In the reliance of God you revive grace, fullness, enough-ness. Grace fills all, every crack, every crevice, every break filled, full of the blood of Jesus – full of grace.
As we break, as we struggle to breathe, He is enough. Gasping for the air of grace, He is all sufficient grace.
Kneel and worship the God who invented grace.
I resuscitate to the reason why I dance my solo. The reason is this: my life was intended for worship. When I dance, I am praising my Jesus. I don’t dance to gain acceptance, higher esteem, or praise from others (at least I try not to dance for those reasons).
Even though the first competition of the season is in 5 weeks and my solo is a mess, I have to remember the real reason why I dance. I can still bring glory to Jesus through it. God uses not-enough for His glory. I must let myself take the gift of grace.
Though this new year (like every year) is filled with empty uncertainty and insufficiency, we must take time to give thanks for the grace. 2017 is full of grace, full of God. Full of enough. Breathe. He holds your life in His hands. “Jesus has me” (mackie renee). He has you. He has infused infinite grace into your heart. He has infused His love into my very bones.
The conclusion that I have come to is that the grace of Christ, the love of God is what fills the dry, broken, empty, and not-enough places. Grace endlessly pours from the heart of God. The rain of grace falls; you’re sinking in a flood of grace.
The Jesus that we follow is the only One who fills our insufficiency.
Jesus has filled you.
You are enough.
so we must breathe in the grace, the grace.